Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

I was tired of trying and failing.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

‘The Life of Chuck’: Never Mind the Apocalypse, Watch Tom Hiddleston Dance! - Rolling Stone

You are like me, then.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Pacers’ Tyrese Haliburton stuns Thunder in last second to open NBA Finals - The Washington Post

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

I was tired of fighting.

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What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Trump's U.S. Steel decision may come later than expected - Axios

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Be who you already are.

It’s here now, writing to you.

If Delta Force soldiers wanted to form a criminal gang, how dangerous would they be with all their equipment (explosives, rifles, vests, night vision goggles)?

It’s still here.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

The sadness was still there.

Were knights’ lances practical weapons, or were they just for sports?

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

And the sadness?

Do women lack the mental strength to succeed at STEM? There seems to be few women at STEM and more women leave STEM after a time of working at it. How can it be just sexism if women aren't banned from entering?

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Which race of women are the hottest?

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

Why are conservatives banning liberal books? Why are conservatives so offended by the teaching of racism and other topics?

I had run out of hope.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.